Sometimes when we write longer sentences, we lose track of our wording. Making sure you use the same pattern of words is called parallel structure. Purdue OWL has some more info on these errors. Check it out.
At a cursory glance, I noticed a lack of parallel structure in your thesis statements.
HW: Please type a draft of your 350-500 word essay, 12pt font, Times New Roman, double-spaced. I am NOT expecting perfection. This is just your first draft, which will undergo a great deal of revision in the next 2-3 weeks.
And, here's that resource that helps with thesis statements.
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